Tear Prevention the Orgasmic Way
They kissed lovingly as their baby's head began to emerge from her perineum.It was almost too intimate a moment to witness: mother and father expressing their love as the mother opened her lips, soft and moist, and the baby boy came into the world, slowly emerging. His parents barely separated from their kiss and turned to look at the baby revealing himself to the world.
His mom reached down and, in one slow caress, placed him upon her breast where he was welcomed into their love. Intact she was and a first-time mom. Seconds after the birth, her perineum looked as if no birth had happened at all. Her vaginal lips and perineum were as normal as they had been before she was pregnant. How could that be?
First, she had no fear of birth. When fear rules, we do not open. Instead we become tied. Second, her birth team did not scream, "Push, push, push. Count to ten, breathe, hold your breath, one, two, three," and so on. We were quiet, serene, protecting the sanctity of the birthing and her privacy. Third, they were kissing. Yes, last and possibly uppermost, she was sharing an intimate time with her lover at the moment of the birth.
Ina May Gaskin explains the connection between kissing and intact perinea in her book Spiritual Midwifery. Once you see how it works, there is no question that having soft lips by kissing allows the vaginal lips to be soft as well. Body workers and holistic practitioners know that the body is interconnected with itself. They explain that the lips of the mouth are related to the lips of the vulva, the mouth to the vagina, the uvula to the cervix and the jawbone structure to the pelvis.
The relationship works in synchrony. For example, an open jaw opens the pelvic girdle; a relaxed mouth relaxes the vagina and soft lips ready to kiss work wonders for the perineum.
Why not try this? It is easy and has no side effects, except for the possibility of an intact perineum and maybe even a birth orgasm. What? An orgasmic birth? Pain and pleasure, intimacy and love, release and desire-as we know, these are all connected to lovemaking. But they are also connected to birthing, and birth can provide pleasure and arousal for the mind, body and spirit. An orgasmic birth is phenomenal. It is a unique opportunity when the body involves itself in such a fantastic task that it calls for spiritual resources. Emotionally, it is a time when one needs an outpouring of unconditional love. The body opens and contracts in a rhythm that requires concentration and the ability to release over and over again. Orgasms involve the totality of the uterus. Imagine how large it can feel in labor, and even the baby's head moving in the vagina can stimulate a pleasure-pain-pleasure, stimulating the G spot, that some women experience as orgasmic.
Orgasmic births are powerful, juicy and full of love, spiritual and unforgettable-an endless moment beyond words. It is more than lovemaking because it is releasing, loving and being stimulated by the passion of life itself. It is the gift of humankind to discover divine pleasure in birthing.
We just have to remember the connection between sexual union and pregnancy to realize that orgasms and birth are also related. Every pregnant woman can seek the blessings that are attainable through birthing.
by Marina Alzugaray
1st printed in Midwifery Today Magazine